Random Sheet of Paper

Notes from the life and words of Addison and Ryland

Thursday, July 29, 2010

My heart is missing...

I left my heart somewhere at camp and I think I might just lose my mind without it.  My first born, my miniature Richard, my honey, my heart...is gone this week.  She went to Camp Merri-Mac and is having the time of her life...I can see it in the pictures they put up everyday (yes, I check it about once an hour)!  I also am blessed to have so many friends looking after her there.  I get reports daily and it warms my heart...but that doesn't fill the so obvious gap we now have in our family.  Life isn't the same here...part of our zeal is gone.  I toy with the idea of hiking up in the woods and finding her so we can have a secret place we come to everyday to meet and laugh...but than I realize I would be forever pegged as that creepy mom who just couldn't let go.  Wisely I have resisted this temptation!


Yes, we are having fun focusing all of our attention on Ryland and watching him rise to the occasion with his humor and goofiness...I mean someone has to entertain us!  However, we all feel the void.  I know I sound so sad, but on the other (totally amazing) side of this coin I am blessed beyond words to have her experiencing what she is experiencing, growing in every way, relying on God and other godly people there, and being the independent person she loves to be.  She was so excited to go and every report has been that she is all smiles there...bringing joy to the people around her just as she has always brings joy to us.  So this is just a moment to let you know that I am currently living without a portion of my heart, so if I seem a little less colorful or a little more downtrodden...this is why.  However, I choose joy in knowing God has her in his hands and is molding her in ways that I couldn't!

I will leave you with my one and only quote from her these last couple days:
A friend at camp asked Addie: "Addison, what have you guys been doing tonight?"

Addison: "having so much fun!!!"
I love you Addison...more than I can express and I can't wait to tackle you with a huge hug and all the kisses in the world!  You are my heart.

6 comments:

  1. Oh, Heidi, this is beautiful! I can only imagine what it must feel like. I start to miss Harper while she's napping! I cannot believe Addie is big enough to go to CAMP already! Wow!

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is precious and so how i will feel as well when will goes to camp. it's so great that you are willing to let her have this amazing experience. you are such a great mom!
    Glad you decided not to hide in the woods, the bm police really need something to do.
    she is having so much fun and it warms my heart to see her in her little iroquois jersey!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. oh boy she is iroquois!!!!!!I am so happy for her, best tribe ever!! That about made me cry and now I am going to cuddle with BellaRose! I know she is having a blast. I can almost hear her laughing right over the hill at camp. You are great mom and this really will be one of the best summers of her life. Camp is such a huge part of who I am!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ok that did make some tears pop out of my eyes!
    If only she was a choctaw haha, Thanks for posting pics from camp, I love seeing her having so much fun! You are a good mom!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks guys! Yes she is an iroquois, just like her dad. I am so thankful for all of your encouragement here and it is good to know most of you guys share the camp experience too.

    ReplyDelete
  6. GO IROQUOIS!!!! ha! That is awesome.. and this is so sweet. I love seeing the pictures from camp, such a great experience.... I hope I can send my kiddos there too! I'm glad she is having a ball!

    ReplyDelete